


the only truth (everything comes back to you)

by areyouevenrealbro



Series: precious when you smile [2]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Not Hockey Player(s), Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, Slow Burn, ft. a new scene!, i accidentally deleted so heres the reupload, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 07:11:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14100108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areyouevenrealbro/pseuds/areyouevenrealbro
Summary: the first time mitch sees auston matthews, he's ripping a shot past freddie's head on the quad in front of their dorm.(or, mitch is smitten.)





	the only truth (everything comes back to you)

**Author's Note:**

> IF YOU ARE OR KNOW ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN THIS WORK, SAVE ME FROM CRIPPLING EMBARRASSMENT AND CLICK AWAY NOW.
> 
> i accidentally deleted this work so here's the reupload sorry guys :///
> 
> title from this town by niall horan

The first time Mitch sees Auston Matthews, he’s ripping a shot past Freddie’s head on the quad in front of their dorm. It’s a beautiful shot, obviously, and it kind of makes is heart stop if he’s being completely honest. 

He knows who Auston is, everyone does. He’s supposed to be their saving grace, their golden rookie, the one that’s going to take them to the championships. Mitch is a freshman too, what with the gap year he took pushing him back, but his athletic scholarship wasn’t even close to as hyped as Auston’s was.

“Auston!” Someone yells from behind him just before a very blonde head of hair streaks past him to tackle the man to the ground. Mitch finds it in him to huff out a laugh and feels someone clap him on the shoulder.

“Good to be here, huh?” Zach, his teammate and friend since they were young, is smiling at Willy from his spot next to Mitch, his hand remaining on his shoulder. Zach is one of Mitch’s best friends-ever since they were twelve and Zach nearly concussed Mitch with a poorly aimed shot. He’s followed Mitch to every team he’s ever joined. Even though Mitch has played with almost every person on the University’s roster at some point or another, Zach is the one who has looked out for him every time. He looks to Mitch after a moment. “You met him yet?”

Mitch shakes his head. He can’t find his voice.

“Come on,” Zach’s voice is soft. He pushes at Mitch’s shoulder gently, guiding him towards where Willy is cackling atop Auston on the ground. “We better make sure Will doesn’t tire him out before you get a chance to.”

He grips the straps of his lacrosse bag a little tighter than necessary and forces himself to move toward the sound of their laughter. His stomach flips as Zach drops his hand, but he appreciates the way that he remains close enough for Mitch to feel the heat radiating off of his body.

“Don’t kill him,” Zach calls as they approach, but his warning comes a little late. Willy and Auston have already made their way to their feet, brushing the dirt off of their shorts. Auston’s helmet is dangling helplessly from the fingers of his free hand by the face guard, his stick pinned between his arm and his torso. He’s shirtless.

Mitch focuses very, _very_ hard on retaining his passive facial expression.

Because look, Mitch would have to be blind to ignore the fact that Auston Matthews is _built_. He’s long legs where Mitch’s are short, he’s tan everywhere that Mitch is pale, he’s muscular where Mitch is...not.

Whatever. Mitch’s personality is, like, fire. 

“Anyways, this is Mitch,” Zach continues like anyone is even listening. Mitch clenches the straps of his backpack even harder. 

“Mitch, right.” Auston sticks out his hand. “Freddie’s told me a little about you, but it’s nice to finally meet you.” He smiles easily. 

Mitch feels his heart rate pick up at the idea of what Freddie may have told him. His eyes flick up to meet the goaltender’s, but Freddie’s stoic eyes betray nothing behind the face guard. Mitch manages to mumble out a “nice to meet you too” and shake Auston’s hand without making _too_ much of a fool out of himself. He hopes Auston doesn’t notice how sweaty his palm is. He drops his backpack to the ground and scoops up his stick.

“Let’s play,” he smiled.

 

***

 

The lacrosse floor of the athletics dorm is always busy.

There’s always something going on, and everyone’s door is always open as a standing invitation to hang out. Mitch has come out of his room multiple times to see Freddie or Gards or Naz eating the Cheez-Its Marty had snagged from the student union in the middle of his suite kitchenette. At this point, nothing surprises him.

Mitch has never liked noise. Things get too loud and it overwhelms him to the point that he wants to curl up into a ball on the floor in the furthest corner of his room and cover his ears with his hands. Marty always tries to get him to talk about it, but for someone that’s studying languages, Mitch doesn’t actually like to talk to much. He tells himself it’s self-preservation; don’t let anyone know too much about you and there’ll be no problems. 

It’s worked so far.

But...it’s getting harder now. Marty asks him why he won’t come out of his room or hang out with the team for longer than two hours at a time.

“I’m starting to think that maybe you’re secretly an asshole, man.” Marty grins lazily at him.

“Don’t worry,” Mitch chirps back easily. “We all know you’re the biggest asshole on this team.”

And then there’s the Auston thing.  
Auston sticks close to Mitch in a way he thinks must be subtle. He’s constantly showing up, asking Mitch if they can study, or watch bad reality television on Mitch’s laptop, or get food at the cafeteria.

One day, Auston shows up with his stick and asks if they can just mess around outside for a while. They head to the field in silence, the sun just barely inching closer to the horizon, washing the world in a soft golden glow. Mitch makes the mistake of glancing over at Auston and gets an eyeful of the way the sun catches on the high points of his face and casts shadows on the lows. His eyes are liquid amber and Mitch feels an all too familiar kick in his chest.

Fuck.

(Later, when the sun has set and they’re slowly making their way back to the dorm, Mitch works up the courage to ask why Auston makes such an effort to hang out with him.

“It’s not a bad thing,” he rushes to correct himself before Auston gets the wrong idea. “It’s just-there are other people that would be a lot more fun to hang out with, you know? I’m not really-I’m not really an extrovert.” _I’m nothing like you_ , Mitch doesn’t say. “It just doesn’t really make sense to me.”

Auston is looking at the sky when Mitch glances over at him. It’s a few minutes before he replies. “You’re quiet,” he says. “But it’s not a bad thing. You’re introverted, but it’s not a bad thing. I like who you are.” A small smile drifts over his face. “Being around you-it’s easy.”

They walk the rest of the way in silence.)

 

***

 

So, yeah, Mitch is smitten. He’s not _in love_ , not by a long shot, but he’s definitely...something. He feels it in the pull in his chest whenever their passes connect, or whenever Auston is laying across Mitch’s bed with his glasses on and a textbook in his lap. He feels it when Auston drops by with food for him, or when he sends Mitch pictures of things because it “reminded me of you!” He finds himself drawn to Auston’s easy smiles and pensive demeanor. 

He does his best to take things like balancing his coursework and lacrosse in stride, but it’s hard sometimes. It’s hard to go to practice, and it’s hard to finish his homework. It’s hard for him to get out of bed or shower or eat some days. Sometimes he’s so tired that all he can do is sleep. It worries Marty, he can tell, but he does his best to assure him that he’s fine.

It doesn’t work so well.

Marty’s pretty used to the fact that no matter how he’s feeling, Mitch will ignore his demands to tell him what’s wrong, so he ends up calling Auston over more often than not. He lets him into their two bedroom dorm suite and retreats to his girlfriend’s room on the soccer floor, dedicated to staying out of their way.

Marty is the best roommate Mitch thinks he’s ever had.

Auston’s routine is always the same. He knocks twice before slipping into Mitch’s pitch-black room. The door shuts quietly behind him before he makes his way to where Mitch has burritoed himself into his blanket. He faces the wall, faces away from Auston and does his best not to think about how pathetic he feels. How pathetic it is that Auston has to see him like this. 

The mattress dips behind him as Auston fills the space left at his back. A hand pulls the blankets that he had knotted himself into until they’re both covered and Auston can wrap an arm around his chest so that they’re spooned together from head to toe. Mitch can feel his heart collapse inside his ribcage. His eyes flutter shut and lets a harsh breath escape his lungs. Auston curls the arm around his torso just a little closer and starts to talk.

He talks about his family back in Arizona. He talks about his sisters and how sarcastic and witty they are, he talks about his mother and how much he loves her. He talks about how he models his character after his father. He talks about how much he loves his sport, how he originally got into lacrosse, his favorite kind of stick. As he talks, Mitch slides a hand over the one Auston has resting on his belly. 

They both pretend not to notice the way Auston’s breath hitches.

They both pretend not to notice the way Mitch is wiping his eyes onto his pillowcase.

Mitch might be tipping over the line for _smitten_ and into territory he was hoping he wouldn’t fall into.

 

***

 

Their first game of the season is alright. Auston scores four goals, which (supposedly) warrants taking everyone out for drinks at the bar just off campus to celebrate. Everything in Mitch is screaming not to go, but, as usual, Auston’s unceasing pleading convinced him to come.

“It won’t be the same without you,” he’d chewed on his lip. They were stood in the middle of a hallway just outside their locker room. Everyone else had left either to head for the bar or for their dorm.

Mitch fiddled with the strings on his lacrosse backpack’s straps. “I don’t know,” he finally spoke. His chest hurt, and all he wanted was to go home and go to sleep.

Auston reached out and caught his wrist. Mitch’s eyes finally snapped up to meet his. “Please,” he smiled gently, rubbing at Mitch’s wrist with his thumb. “And if you want to go home, we can go home.”

Mitch’s heart thudded in time with the swipes Auston’s thumb was making. He found himself nodding. Auston’s smile was blinding, and Mitch couldn’t breathe.

He found himself that way a lot when he was around Auston. He couldn’t even find it in himself to be mad about it anymore.

 

***

 

The bar is packed when they get there, but Naz and Mo seem to have managed to get there in time to snag a couple tables. Things are about how he expected them to be- Willy and Kappy are on the dance floor making complete fools of themselves, while Zach nurses a beer at their booth and watches them, a hopelessly endeared look on his face. Mitch sips at his cranberry vodka and laughs at their antics, the alcohol serving to loosen him up. He surveys his surroundings;Naz and Leo are attempting to chat up some girls standing at the bar. Mo has succeeded in chatting up a girl and Mitch watches as they leave the bar, hand in hand and giggling. He feels his heart twinge and does his best to push the feeling back. 

He turns to watch Brownie and Freddie pressed together on their side of their table, a flush high and obvious on Brownie’s cheeks. His smile is wide and only widens as Freddie whispers something into his ear with a smile. Connor is basically in his lap at this point, and Freddie’s arm is thrown across the back of his chair which is-

Interesting. From where Mitch sits, it almost looks like-

“Hey,” Auston’s signature smirk blocks his view of the two men. “How’re you feeling?” He sets another cranberry vodka in front of Mitch.

“Good!” he drops his straw into his new glass and takes a sip. And he isn’t even lying, is the thing. He wasn’t so thrilled about having to come out at first before, but now that he’s here-

He’s _happy_. 

The thought slaps him in the face. “I’m-I’m good,” he blinks at his drink and then up at Auston. The soft look on his face isn’t one that Mitch was expecting, and it brimmed on the verge of _too much_.

“I-bathroom,” he managed to stutter out and slithered from his stool towards the restroom.

Inside, he splashes cold water onto his face and stares at his reflection in the mirror. And listen, he’s pretty good at knowing what he can and can’t have. He’s been able to compartmentalize these kinds of things since-

Since he was young. 

The things he wants and the things he can’t have have always overlapped. He _can’t_ play lacrosse and hockey at the same time, he _can’t_ see his family anymore, he _can’t_ be-

Well. Mitch is used to not being able to have what he wants. It’s nothing new. He can handle this. 

The bathroom door opens to his left and familiar footsteps approach him. Zach appeared behind him in the mirror Mitch was still staring in, a sad smile on his face. He doesn’t even need to say anything for Mitch’s eyes to well up with tears.

“Oh bud,” Zach sighs and wraps his arms around him. “Let’s get you home.”

Mitch is definitely in love

So much for being happy.

 

***

 

It’s barely even a week before Zach corners him.

“Who is it?” He asks from the seat across from Mitch. They’re in the library, so they’re whispering.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mitch bats his lashes and feigns innocence. Zach throws the cap to his highlighter at his face with a scoff.  
_Quietly_ , of course.

“Cut the shit, Marns. I know what you look like when you’re in love, now tell me who it is.”

Mitch squawks indignantly at his accusation, earning a few glares from the surrounding tables.

“I am _not_ in love!” He hisses. “And even if I was, it’s none of your business.”

“Alright,” Zach held his hands up to settle him. “All I’m saying is that Auston sure does talk about you a lot.”

Mitch could feel his face going redder by the second. “I’m not listening to this,” he scribbled furiously at his latin homework. “I came out to do my homework and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.”

“Wow, nice one, Mitch. Hey, twenty twelve called, they want their meme back.” His friend snorted.

Mitch ignored his comment. “Even if Auston was into me, he’s him and I’m, like, me, so whatever.”

That got Zach to shut up. “Hey, what do you mean?”

Mitch shrugged. “I’ve got a lot of shit going on. Like, baggage and stuff. Not exactly ideal.”

“Dude, anyone would be lucky to have you, for real.” He kicked Mitch’s foot lightly under the table. “Terrible old memes and all.”

Mitch rolled his eyes. “Fuck off.”

Zach laughed and then got uncharacteristically serious. “But seriously, man. Fuck your family, fuck those guys on the teams, fuck all of them. You deserve to be happy. Unapologetic, you know? Your past-that’s not who you are. You’re allowed to be happy.”

Mitch’s heart felt so full, he thought it might burst. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had,” he whispers.

Zach’s returning smile looks a little watery, but Mitch pretends not to notice. “You too, Mitchy.”

 

***

 

Mitch doesn’t get mail. He’s not the kind of person that subscribes to magazines, and it’s not like his family is sending him care packages, so color him surprised when he finds a plain white envelope with his name and no return address waiting for him at the front desk of the dorms.

He takes it into his room with him, dropping his bag onto the bed and then letting himself bounce down next to it, digging his thumb under the flap and ripping it open without any type of finesse. He unfolds it and makes it through the first three sentences before he feels his throat swelling shut and his eyes burning.

He hasn’t talked to his brother since before he left for college. Chris was at his own university, and they had never been too close, so when Mitch was going through it with his teams and his parents, he never really talked to his brother about it. He’s not sure if Chris even really knew what was going on at their house before Mitch left without looking back. 

He crawls his way to his corner; he doesn’t know how long he sits there before Auston is suddenly in front of him, eyes large and concerned, pulling Mitch into him easily, the way he has a hundred times before.

Auston is no stranger to Mitch’s panic attacks. He’d been the first to pull him from one, with soft words and soothing tones and pet names that unknotted that squeeze around his heart. Mitch has never had someone that was able to pull him out of the thick of his anxiety, and today takes longer than usual, but it’s Auston and Mitch has never met someone that gets him like he does, so it’s no surprise that it works.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, same as always.

Mitch hadn’t ever talked to him about it, but he’s just so _tired_ now. He can’t hold it in anymore.

“I came out to my team when I was fifteen,” he begins.

Auston is quiet while he pours his heart out. It should be unnerving but it’s...really just not. It feels good to be able to get the whole story out without being interrupted or questioned. When he’s done, Auston pulls closer to his chest and asks if he’ll call his brother.

Mitch pushes his face into Auston’s neck and groans. “I don’t _know_. I miss him, he’s my brother, and it seems like he actually wants to try.”

A wide hand stroked down the center of his back. “So what’s stopping you?”

Mitch blinks and measures his words before he says them. “He wasn’t there for me when I needed him,” he finally spoke after a few beats of silence. “I can’t-I can’t forget that, no matter how hard I try.”

He can practically see the cogs turning in Auston’s head. The hand stroking down his back slowed to a stop, and he feels his chest expand with the breath he takes before he speaks. 

“I can’t tell you what to do,” he began. “This is something you have to choose entirely on your own. But how you feel is valid, and you’re allowed to feel hurt by what he did. Just because you start talking to him again doesn’t mean you have to forgive him right away.” Fingers began stroking through the hair at Mitch’s neck. “No matter what you do, dude, you know I’ll support you.”

Mitch didn’t have much to say to that. It’s probably for the best though; if he had opened his mouth, he probably wouldn’t have been able to stop an _i love you_ from tumbling out.

 

***

 

They’re playing Syracuse when things kind of go to shit.

Mitch actually doesn’t remember much. One moment he’s winding up to beam the ball to Naz and the next he’s facedown on the ground with the wind knocked out of him and a ringing in his ears. He can feel the presence of whoever checked him squatting beside him, and the ref’s whistle is being blown, but between those two realizations he can hear the voice of an opposing player spitting out a poisonous “ _bet you like it from behind, don’t you?_ ”

Mitch shuts his eyes and does his best to curtail the panic rising in his throat.

As suddenly as he’s there, though, the player’s presence is gone and Marty has slid down to replace him. His helmet is off and concern is written all over his face as he helps Mitch to roll onto his back. 

“Rank it for me, out of ten, how bad is it?” His features are tense, and he has to raise his voice for Mitch to hear him over the distant yelling rising in his ears.

“Five,” he gasps out. “Nothing’s broken, I’m okay.” He grips Marty’s arm. “Help me up, I’m okay.”

Marty helps Mitch to sit up in time to see Auston being pulled off of the guy who must have have hit Mitch. His helmet has been knocked off and his nose and lip are bloody, but he’s walking away, shrugging the referee’s hands from his body and stalking to the bench with a look of pure murder on his face. The opposing player is laid motionless on the ground, blocked by a mixture of his and Mitch’s team alike. 

Mitch isn’t sure if he even wants to see what he looks like.

He clutches Marty’s arm even tighter. “Aus,” he breathes out. Marty huffs out a laugh.

“Worry about him later bud,” he supports Mitch enough to get him to his feet. “It’s off to the trainers with you.”

 

***

 

His ribs are crazy bruised and it hurts to breathe, but other than that, Mitch seems to be fine. They release him to Marty after he’s promised about a million times that Mitch will be on strict bedrest.

Marty has already helped him into his car and gotten him halfway home before Mitch works up the courage to ask him the question that’s been burning on his tongue since he got hit.

“Did you hear?” He swallows. “What that guy said to me after he checked me. Did you hear?”

Marty glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. “No, Auston was the only one close enough to possibly hear,” he says. “Why? What’d he say?”

Mitch let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Nothing, it’s not important.”

His roommate snorted. “I don’t know that I would call something that made Auston beat a guy’s face to a pulp nothing.”

Mitch forced a laughed.

 

***

 

Auston is sitting on the edge of Mitch’s bed when Marty helps him in, head in his hands, the way he sits in the locker room before a game. His head snaps up when they enter, his eyes rimmed red. Marty seems to understand that he’s not a part of whatever is about to go down. He drops Mitch’s lacrosse bag onto the floor next to the door and backs out slowly.

“I’m just gonna...go.” He says, and then he’s gone. The sound of the suite door opening and then shutting quietly fills the air.

“Are you okay?” Auston finally breaks the tense silence they’d been stuck in. Mitch nods jerkily.

“Are you?” He whispers back. Auston cracks a smile, and before long he’s laughing uncontrollably.

Mitch can’t help but laugh too.

“Ow, ow,” he gasps out, laughter still bubbling out of him. “Stop, don’t make me laugh, it hurts.”

Auston rises and crosses the room to meet Mitch where he’s still standing. He reaches out and touches Mitch lightly, just his fingertips resting on his wrists for a bare moment, before he slides his fingers up, up, up Mitch’s arms and around his shoulders for a gentle hug. Mitch doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around Auston’s torso and rest his head over his heart. He listens to its rhythmic thumping and feels his own heart match the sound.

“You heard,” Mitch says after a few moments of this. “You heard what he said to me.”

“Yeah,” Auston whispers back.

It’s silent. Mitch closes his eyes to fight the stinging in his tear ducts.

“So why’d you fight him?” He finally gets out. As soon as he asks, he knows it was a mistake. Auston’s body has gone tense underneath him, and he pulls back with a frown.

“Mitchy,” he whispers. “People can’t talk to you like that. That’s-it’s not right. I won’t let them do that to you.” He cradles his face in his hands, his thumb brushing away a wetness on Mitch’s cheek. He hadn’t even realized he was crying. “I won’t.”

Mitch can’t help but stare into his eyes. He can feel the tears falling now, as Auston rests their foreheads together and lets his thumbs brush soothingly over his cheekbones.

“Aus,” he breathes. He can feel Auston’s breath fanning over his face.

Auston seems pinned by his gaze. His eyes search Mitch’s for a few moments before he pitches forwards to press his lips against Mitch’s.

His lips are soft and smooth and feel just the same as how Mitch had imagined they would feel. He slides his hands up Auston’s body to tangle into his hair as Auston slides one of his down Mitch’s face to rest on the back of his neck.

It feels like an eternity before they pull away from each other, breathing hard, eyes wide. Auston is flushed pink, and before he bites his lips he licks them. He smiles like that, his bottom lip sucked into his mouth, forehead resting on Mitch’s once again.

Mitch closes his eyes. He stays in the moment.

He smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> and then they lived happily ever after the end!
> 
> thank you for reading!! remember to leave a kudos and comment if you enjoyed!
> 
> find me on tumblr at @ohmymarnthews


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